Fight Fair

For years my friends have always told me that you and your girlfriend/boyfriend are not really a couple until you have a REAL fight. The kind of fight where both parties are yelling, hitting and throwing things. I say who says you have to fight like that? Where is that written? Why can't you talk things out, and hear one another's opinion? I don't know if it has something to do with the fact that I don't like yelling, or being yelled at but from what I can tell no one I know likes that either.

For me, if you have to yell, or hit things, or throw objects across the room all that tells me is how immature you are, and how you have other issues that you need to deal with in a healthy way. I grew up in a house where my parents yelled at me and each other when I was young. My mom and sister, and my younger brothers used to get in yelling fights that were so bad, I thought someone would call the police. Sometimes I wish someone would have. Then, whenever I would get in trouble my mom would be ready to yell, but I never would. I'm sure this caught her off guard, but I also knew how to man up and admit when I was wrong.

Allison has told me that she does not like yelling either. I was so glad to hear that. "Finally." I thought "Someone who will fight fair." Of course Allison and I have had some disagreements, but we always talk them out.

I do know of couples who actually like to fight. I don't know why, but if it works for them, go for it. As for me, I could go my whole life with out yelling. I know that's not possible but it's something to shoot for. I did do my fair share of yelling when I was young, and after counseling, I learned why I used to yell. I had issues. SHOCKING! I was mad, hurt, upset, and felt like no one cared about me. After taking care of "business" I'm a much calmer and happy person.

I'm not out to tell everyone what to do, but if you feel the same way I do, I just want you to know that your not alone.

"That's all I have to say about that."