I'm Sorry

Donald Miller is what I like to call an open minded christen. (to bad his followers are not the same). In his book "Blue Like Jazz" He talks about attending Reed College (I forget what state and city it's in) but this college in known for it's liberated thinking and they do not take kindly to Christian's. Donald Miller and the few christian friends he had on campus came up with the idea of setting up a confession booth in the middle of the quad during one of the schools biggest party's. The confession booth was NOT intended for non-believers to come in and confess their sins to followers of Christ, but rather for the Christ followers to confess their sins to the secular world.

They would apologize for all the things that so called "Christian's" would do in the name of God, and how Christ followers can be just as bad and in some cases worse then non-believers.

I have been inspired to do the same thing, so here it goes:

On behalf of all Christ followers I would like to apologize to the world for the following;

For every time Christians would protest at the funeral of a fallen soldier and/or a gay soldier

For every time Christians would protest at gay clubs

for our in tolerance

for being narrow minded

for being judgmental

for trying to shove religion down every body's throat

for believing that there's only one right religion

for not practicing what we preach

for being hypocritical

for casting out those who are different

for being two faced

for preaching hatred

for turning our backs on those who needed us the most

for acting like we are better then everybody else

for not stepping out of our "safe" bubble to help others in need

and for every other way we have offended, hurt, betrayed and let the world down.

For all of the above, I'm sorry

Becoming a Whole Person

What does it mean to be a whole person. A lot of us like to think that we are, when in fact we are hollow. After my last failed relationship, I decided to get better and not bitter. I feel that resentment and ego is a cancer to the soul. I will be blogging about my journey to not only become a whole person, but to love radically. I will also be sharing my progress and experiences a long the way. However, you may not like what you read. Remember, I'm only sharing what I have learned about myself. I'm not trying to force anything on others. Everybody is different, and we should celebrate that about each other.

For those of you who are reading this that believe in God (notice I didn't name a specific religion) What do you pray for? I Have prayed for many things in my life. One of the main objects of my prayer time has always been to know God better, and to be molded after him, and to be dangerous like his son Jesus. I have surrendered everything in my life to him. Not to many people can understand this.

I am starting to become aware of my silly ego-needs, and I have realized that no one can fulfill them. It's because of my ego I have aloud myself to go from failed relationship to failed relationship. At the end of every relationship I would analyze where I went wrong. Analysis in my life has always substituted for understanding and leads me to worry, and doubt, and doubt will in turn lead to confusion, emotion, depression and despair. I know I needed a change in my life. A change that can only come from within. I'm doing this to discover my true self rather then to feel better. I know I will learn things about myself I'm not going to like, but I'm tired of making excuses for my shortcomings. I have the choice to be the man I was meant to be.

The most important thing I hope to experience is repentance, which for me will be a sad gladness when I see myself in the light, and I see my ego as part of the problem.

The first thing I have to learn is true love does not expect anything from anyone. I had to stop and think about that for a moment. Can I really love myself and others the way God loves us? Is it even possible? There's only one way to find out.